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Identifying Triggers and Self Regulation

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One of the biggest challenges to Conscious Parenting is managing our own triggers and emotions. In this session, I’ll talk about how to identify and process your own triggers, as well as some things you can do to slowly shift from reactive to responsive.

Click the image below to watch the recording of the live session.

Identifying Triggers and Self Regulation Presentation Slides

Resources

In this session, I refer to a phrase from the Conscious and Connected Discipline course, “Unmute your soundtrack”. This stems from the idea that we always have a song playing in the background of our lives, that sort of sets the tone or mood for how we experience our present moments. Just as the soundtrack of a movie sets the tone for what we’re watching. Most of these songs were put on our soundtrack long before we had kids, but impact how we parent moment to moment. Most of us have our soundtrack on mute and have no idea what is “playing” in our minds that is impacting our reactions to our kids. The worksheet below is a series of questions that will aide in this process. You can go to the “Conscious and Connected Discipline” Course, Part 2, to explore this topic further.

Unmute Your Soundtrack Worksheet

Taken directly from the live session, here are some perspective shifts that you can hold on to, that help your mind from “perceiving” your kids behavior as a “threat”, which shifts you automatically into one of the “stress” responses (fight, flight, freeze or fawn).

Perspective Shifts Mental SCripts

Click the image to read the entire e-book.

You can purchase this e-book, a paperback copy or other books and resources by J. Milburn by clicking the link below.

Books by J. Milburn

Mindfulness Resources

 
 
Black Girl Meditations
“The Only Place You Need to Be Is Here” Meditation

Mindful Mentor Mama, the author of “Raising Good Humans”, Hunter Clarke-Fields, has some free resources including a few short guided meditations on her website. Click the link below to access them.

Mindful Mama Mentor Free Resources
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Limits and Boundaries vs. Rules

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If you missed the live session, click below to view the recording

During the live session we spoke about separating the behavior from the child. Here are a few pages that elaborate this point.

Chapter 1 Excerpt
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Effective Communication

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A great deal of our challenges with our children and students stem from ineffective communication, on the part of the adult. There are a number of things that can make our efforts to communicate ineffective. In this session, we will explore a few of those reasons. The conversation will then open up for sharing challenges and successes with our unique children.

This session begins with introductions of members. Skip to 25:00 minute mark to go straight into the presentation.

Effective Communication Slides
Live Session Chat
Effective Communication Mindsets, Tips and SCripts

 
Chapter 6 (Audio and TExt)
Chapter 6 Excerpt (Text)

 
Chapter 3 Text
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Sensory Needs

During the live session we discussed how some of the behaviors our children display are communicating a specific sensory need. Click below to read an article on Sensory needs and how to support your child.

Eight Sensory Needs and Their Solutions

Understanding the “Schemas of play” will help you to identify some of the sensory needs your child is displaying. You don’t have to know exactly which one they are in moment to moment. Sometimes it can be confusing since some of the behaviors overlap. What’s important is to understand that these behaviors are totally normal. Knowing productive ways to support the learning in more appropriate ways is great too. You’ll find both in the linked article below.

Schemas Of play Explained
 
 
 
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Perspective Shifts and Scripts

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Effective Communication: Mindsets, Tips and Scripts

In this ebook, which accompanies the Live class, which you can find in “Live Class Recordings, I will help you understand the importance of executive functioning skills and give you tips on how to support their development in your children. By nurturing these vital skills, you'll reduce parenting frustrations and empower your children to thrive socially, personally, and professionally in the future.

E-Book
 
 
 
 
Parenting For The Future Takeaways
Self Regulation: Perspective Shifts/ MEntal Scripts
 

This Worksheet is designed to support you identifying the source of your triggers. For more context, check out Conscious and Connected Discipline (Self paced course), and “Identifying Triggers and Self-Regulation, (Live workshop recording)

Unmute Your Soundtrack Worksheet
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Parenting Consciously - 3 Day Video Course

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Click Here to Access the Course

Session 1: Transitioning Into Conscious Parenting

In this first session we will:

  • Discuss what conscious parenting is, how it compares to other parenting styles, and the benefits to you your family.

  • Discuss what it looks like in practical every day situations.

  • Discuss the challenges and how to work through them.

  • Practice and discuss Conscious Parenting responses through role play scenarios

  • Give you some concrete action steps that you can begin implementing now.

Session 2: Decolonize Your Parenting 

In this session we will :

  • Talk about the true definition of discipline

  • Talk about child brain development and how it impacts their behavior

  • Discuss the impacts of punishment and physical discipline

  • Discuss how colonization and our respective cultures impact our parenting choices.

  • Discuss various ways to approach undesirable behavior using what we've learned.

Session 3: From Control and Coercion to Connection and Collaboration

In this final session we will:

  • Discuss the role control plays in our parenting

  • Discuss triggers and how to work through them

  • Evaluate our automated "no"response and explore the power of "yes"

  • Discuss forced respect

  • Look at parenting in action videos, and workshop scenarios from participants.

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